Fun things

In case you haven't seen it, Monkeys on a Mission is now on its fourth mission. We had a get-together with several kids yesterday, where we decorated and filled bags. This is turning out to be a fun project! I will be adding to the monkey shop soon, hopefully, so poke in now and again to see some new additions.

The Chief has expressed interest in learning more about African American history and culture, so I am hoping to pull together a unit and post about it like I did with our study about India (here and here). I think I have enough material for our study to last about three weeks. Then, I'm thinking we will do a few more cultural studies, which falls into what's outlined in the 4th grade Whole Child, Healthy Planet guide. There are about 8 cultural units in all I'd like to get to this year, as long as the Chief's interest stays piqued.

I'm working on an essay in response to an article I read last week, which I may or may not put up here, depending on where I feel it will do the most benefit. Also, I am in the midst of writing a science fiction story for the Writers of the Future contest, which has a March 31 deadline. Hopefully I haven't bitten off more than I can chew...

Must...stay...off...

It is, for me, one of the hardest times of year. It's that time of years when many people get their tax return checks, and so they use that money to buy next year's curriculum for their home schools.

As people mention what they are using, I go and check it out. Oooh shiny! I love books, so it is very hard for me to resist temptation. In fact, usually there is a week or so when I ask my husband, "Are we doing the right thing? Should we get this curriculum here? Look at this big box of books you get, and everything is all laid out for you, and...."

Yeah.

And that's the problem. It is SO EASY to fall back into that "conveyor belt" mentality that is discussed in "A Thomas Jefferson Education." It's so easy to sit back and let everyone else do the thinking, the planning. It's so easy to ignore that Core Phase that is VITAL to both you and your child's development as a whole person who doesn't need someone else to tell them what to do or how to live. I mean, on the surface, Core Phase looks easy, like you just let your kid play all day, and do whatever he wants. But when you actually do it, when you actually are in the trenches inspiring that "right/wrong, good/evil, true/false," you can see how very hard it is. I see kids every day who did not get a solid core phase. I see adults every day who did not get a solid core phase. I don't want my son growing up like that.

My son is very much transitioning into Love of Learning phase now. He spends a huge portion of the day reading to himself, looking at books, asking questions, experimenting. I did nothing to make him do this, other than showing him through example that learning is a part of life, and a fun part, at that. Now, while any child is in Love of Learning, Core is still there, at the Core, and we have to revisit it often. We do our family work together, and when we see examples of situations, we talk about right vs. wrong, etc. Each level builds on the other, but you are never "finished" with the previous one.

Staying off the conveyor belt is hard. As I said, it is easy to have someone tell you what to do all the time. It's easy to be a sheep, and that's why we have an entire nation full of them. But in order for our nation to remain strong, to be a leader in this new global society of ours, we need people who are NOT sheep, in every discipline. We need scientists, politicians, educators, community leaders, who are not afraid to step out of line and do what they believe is right, and not just follow the rear end in front of them. We need people who have developed self-discipline, we need people not afraid to do the hard things. We need people who are not wrapped up in themselves, who can look around in the world and see the potential in it as a whole.

We won't get that by following a one-size-fits-all mentality. Our children are not products who should go through a system and come out with a stamp of approval at the end that means nothing other than that they jumped through all the hoops, that they achieved the minimum, that they passed the test. All we'll get with that is a society of mediocrity, of complacence.

If you want more than this for your children (and indeed, the world), then take the brave step off of the conveyor belt, and do what is right for YOUR child. Give him a solid start at home, show him where his foundation is. Build a strong family, and then branch out to the community slowly. Expose him to people other than his "peers," let him see that there are many people out there he needs to be able to relate to, not just a group of kids his age. Above all, be an inspiration to that child. Do the things you don't feel like doing but you know are right. Take the hard road.

Isn't your child worth it?

A Many Splendored Thing

My son is in the process of making Valentines for everyone he knows. And their mothers. Literally. Every time he finishes one, his face lights up and he says, "Oh, and I can make one for ___!" He even made one for the dog across the street.

We talked about the many different stories there are of "St. Valentine," and how this person may well in fact have been several people lumped into one. Valentinus was said to have helped Christian couples get married in the way of their faith, at a time when Claudius Gothicus, the emperor of Rome, was persecuting Christians and anyone caught helping them was committing a crime. There are also stories that Valentinus was someone who was helping Roman soldiers sneak off and marry their loved ones, which was not allowed. Another possibility was that Valentine's Day was invented solely to distract from the pagan holiday of Lupercalia (a Roman festival celebrated from Feb. 13-15, celebrating the wolf who cared for Romulus and Remus), in much the same way as the dates of many other holidays were chosen.

Whatever the roots of Valentine's Day, it's a day to celebrate love. Not just the love you might have for someone else, but for the love of all people, and the freedom of people to celebrate their love, and not feel like they have to hide it. I would encourage you to help your kids see Valentine's Day not as a day to go out and buy chocolates and $100 roses and candy hearts, not as a day to feel sad they maybe they don't have someone to celebrate with, but as a day to celebrate the love they feel for their friends and family, to appreciate the people they DO have in their lives. And maybe even to think about others around the world, and how we can show our love for all people, not just the ones closest to us.

Now, what about me?

So we have a basic rhythm in place, we've found some peace (though I would like to cut back on the "running around." We've some how gotten into the habit, whenever we are bored, of saying, "Hey, let's go ___." I want to establish more of a home culture for these things). Now, where is this all leading?

For my birthday, I got a little desk and chair (as well as an uber-ergonomic keyboard!). This is where it is all leading. Over the weekend I got my OWN rhythm in order, and so now I have scheduled time for myself, to accomplish my goals. We've found the right amount of balance here where the Chief feels like he gets enough time to to what he needs to do, and I am getting the time I need as well.

Our service project for the homeless veterans in Worcester is coming to a close. If anyone has any last minute hats to donate, you will need to contact me in the next couple days, because I will be heading out to Veteran's Inc. on Tuesday, February 14th (Valentines!) to make our big delivery.

As far as Monkey Missions go, it is wonderful to see the Chief so interested in what I am doing. He is really thinking about others now, people who need things more than we do, and I can't ask for anything better than that. He's going to be helping I think with a Monkey Mission very soon. :)

Balance

I've been neglecting this blog a lot lately. Mostly, it has been because I've been spending a lot of time trying to find some balance in life. I started by making a daily rhythm for our family's days. It's actually a very simple thing, there's aren't even any times on it, but it just establishes a predictable routine for us.

When we have a routine, it is much easier to get the things done that are a) important to us, and b) that we just want to do, the things that keep us sane, if you will.

Here is our daily rhythm:

In the afternoon, you'll notice that I have alternated the times when the Chief is expected to play or learn or explore independently, and the time when we are working together. It's very important that he knows that in a little while, mom or dad can do something with him. It is equally important that he learn how to do things by himself, to simply BE by himself. With the independent times (and quiet time) scheduled in the afternoon, I find that I have plenty of time for myself, to be able to do some things for myself. Lots of moms forget that they are human beings, too; that they need to take care of themselves and take the time to do the thing they enjoy. Because I have this time in the afternoon, I have time to make things for my charity projects, I have time to do my writing, and I have time to make my sock monkeys. Just having that little bit for myself really makes a big difference. I've had periods of years where I never thought of myself during the day, and things would always explode. I need that decompression time, especially as a homeschooler who is with my child all day.

The main thing to remember about any routine is that it won't happen magically. You can't just write a plan, no matter how wonderful that plan might be, post it, and then have your family magically follow it. It's not going to happen, and everyone will be frustrated. Instead, try focusing on one area of the routine at a time. We started off with the morning mindfulness, music, and learning times. Once those were in place for a few days, we went on to the afternoon, and got those routines established comfortably. We have yet to get into the "work" times, but this will be what we are heading into next.

So now, my son gets to play games, and do science experiments, I get to write (which I really can't live without) and do my creative charity projects, and we get things done that we need to. And because it is a routine, and it is posted, everyone knows what to do when. Everyone knows what is coming up next. It has created a much more relaxed and peaceful environment in our home.

In Which Melanie Goes Just a Little Bit Linus

I've been really busy, but that hasn't helped the feeling of disconnect I've been having lately. I think perhaps it is because I have been so busy that this is happening. Things had been working so well for a couple months, everything was falling into place, and now, the last couple weeks, whamo. The Chief's been really whacky, inflexible, and not able to communicate with others. Not all the time, but just enough where I am getting really frustrated.

I think part of the problem (maybe all?) is that our rhythm is just GONE. Another thing is that Christmas is coming, and of course, the Chief is totally obsessed over that. Along with Christmas is the Christmas clutter. Decorations in every corner. I think we really need to simplify this. And we need to push our decluttering to the next level. BAM, kick it up a notch, and all that. So I think the focus for the next month is going to be simplifying our environment, and getting a good schedule into place. When I read this post on the Simplicity Parenting blog, it really rang true for me. A couple months ago, my husband and I decided to have a very simple Christmas, and for the most part, that is what we are doing. Almost all our gifts are going to be homemade (the Chief had a couple ideas for me that he simple HAD to buy, I guess, though), my husband and I are not planning on exchanging gifts other than our time together, and even the decorations we are TRYING to keep to a minimum, but it is strange how they just seem to sneak up everywhere. We really want to focus on what matters in this season, and not what commercialism tries to TELL us matters.

I have some things, decorations, etc, that are from family members who have passed on, and I feel that dread of giving them away. But really, what's more important? Keeping the Cabbage Patch Kids statue, or keeping the spirit of the person who gave it to me alive by having a healthy, happy family and home? Why should Christmas be about rushing and noise, and lights? I hear people every day talking about how they dread the Christmas season. "Oh, no, there are only two weeks until Christmas!" Isn't Christmas supposed to be a happy time, when, even for the non-religious of us, we celebrate the birth of the Christ child and celebrate giving and family? Peace on Earth, good will toward men? It's not supposed to be about overspending and overscheduling and overreaching. So why do we all feel that we need to do those things, that Christmas won't be Christmas without feeling harried? Well, in part, it is because we are told we should by the mass media. By the stores who, because they want more sales, start Christmas before Halloween.

Let's start a new tradition. Let's start thinking for ourselves. If something doesn't feel good--DON'T DO IT! It you feel stressed, SLOW DOWN. Christmas is supposed to be happy and enjoyable. Don't let other people/corporations tell you what you should be doing. You know your family best. You know them better than anyone else, and you know what they need. Make it so! And if you feel pressure about giving presents, like a handmade gift might not be good enough for certain people, ask yourself what exactly those people are celebrating or exchanging gifts for. Because it certainly is not Christmas. Maybe they should just call this season what it has become: National Going Beyond Our Means Quarter.

It doesn't have to be that way. Join me on a quest to make Christmas about what it should be. A mother and a father, and a baby in a stable with animals. No blinking lights. Joseph wasn't freaking because he didn't buy Mary a fancy bassinet. Mary wasn't mad because she couldn't give birth in the Marriott. They did what they could with what they had.

If we were all content with what we had, wouldn't the world be a better place?

O, Christmas Tree...

With the holidays upon us, I have been... strangely busy. I'm not usually this busy. I did a crafter's open house last weekend, selling sock monkeys. It was a lot of fun, but a lot of work at the same time. Now it is time to start making Christmas gifts. So far I am off to a great start. Unfortunately I can't share very much about them because of obvious reasons.

I have collected 29 books so far for the book drive (see my Monkeys on a Mission blog). I'll be collecting through December 31st, so anyone who is interested in donating new kid or teen books, please email me or leave a comment!

We bought our Christmas tree from Hillcrest Farm this year (in Auburn, MA. I'm not sure if they have a website, but their storefront is The Farmer's Daughter. We get all our plants in the spring and summer form them as well). It cost a little extra, but not nearly as much as a real tree would have gone for about ten years ago. I didn't mind the extra $10 (versus Lowe's) because it was from a local farm and they have such friendly and helpful staff. There was a baby calf named Spooky there helping to sell trees (and I love nothing more than to cuddle with a calf!), as well as a gray Rex rabbit. There were lots of trees, as well as wreaths and arrangements and gifts.

This year we wanted a homemade Christmas. My husband and I have grown so tired of plastic and mass production. So we set the tree up, and got to work making ornaments. We let my son pick out a few of our old ornaments that he really liked, that were special to him, but the rest is all going to be origami, felt, kids' crafts and beadwork. Our neighbor is an artist, and she has painted a few ornaments for us over the years as well, which we treasure. My son put all the ornaments on the tree himself--it seemed to be something he was proud of so we designated him the official tree decorator. There are no lights, but that's fine--it saves electricity and the tree won't dry out as quickly. We do need a skirt for the tree, but I think I will just grab some pretty fabric and arrange it around the bottom.

I've been posting sock monkeys on my Etsy page. Remember, a portion of the proceeds of all my handmade goods ALWAYS goes to charity. This month it is for the Youth and Family Services book drive, next month, it will be something different.